Coke Studio. Greatest Episode EVER.


The middle class of the country doesn’t have much things to take pride in right now as a group, but every year around this time comes Coke Studio, the best thing to happen to Pakistan and Pakistanis since well the creation of Pakistan. Now before I get accused of being a Coke Studio hater, I’m not, I’ve actually really liked some of the songs from the previous seasons  (Like that Arif Lohar song in which he repeats the same two words for about 8 minutes while clapping two metal sticks together.) but we as Pakistanis have this habit of going over-board with a lot of things we do. Like a Punjabi wedding in which the bride is wearing 7 layers of foundation while we label it the best exhibition of “natural beauty” or praise also goes over-board..  Anyways I’m going to be doing a Coke Studio review this season of each episode because I honestly can’t find anything else to do this summer, also I am no music critic and I’ll be completely honest with you guys I just listen to the first and last 5 seconds of each song. So I can just say “Yea I’ve heard the song, it was terrible.”

Anyways here goes *Puts on Hipster Shades*

Please ignore the logistics like me getting name of the song wrong and confusing the singers up. 

1. Paisay Da Nasha – Bohemia 

If I saw a dhol person on the street playing the dhol and I came up to him and started rapping in punjabi there is a slight chance I might need medical help of the mental kind. But the beauty about Coke Studio is that you can pull this stuff off and get praised for it. After all it’s fusion.  (The fusion college kids try in their rooms by mixing maggi noodles and everything they see, as they’re college kids whatever it turns out into they will happily eat it and call it delicious.)

So when Bohemia sang/rapped that song on Coke Studio I laughed. I laughed a lot. He even had a Pakistani Rihanna to back him up so it could sound like the perfect wanna be Jay Z rap song. (Plus he was wearing Beats. Having spent the last 8 months in Canada I have grown a very strong dislike for Beats.)

General Public Reaction after this song -

2 – Tum Kaho – SYMT

This is the first time I’m hearing about SYMT and whenever I read that name I just get remined of YMCA for some reason. I don’t know why, it’s probably a mental thing. I heard 5 seconds of this song and couldn’t figure out why the vocalist was wearing a guitar but was also refusing to play it. It’s just one of those things that annoys me.

3 – Kamlee – Hadiqa Kiani 

I’ll be honest, I didn’t even bother loading this song on youtube. Probably because I was busy entertaining myself with cat videos also because I have trouble taking Hadiqa Kiani seriously after her Refrigerator commercials in which she hugs a fridge and pretends all her problems are solved.

4-  Charkha Nolakha – Atif Aslam

I actually kind of liked this than I saw that Atif apnay ghar kay parday utar kar lay aiya hai aur un ki balochi topi bana li hai. (Translation – Atif decided to take his house curtains and make an appropriate Balochi Hat out of them. I swear it was funnier in urdu or in my head) but yea overall the song was pretty good and of course the reaction to it was brilliant too. Apparently Atif has just solved every issue Pakistan was facing with the brilliance of this song.

That’s pretty much it.  I eagerly look forward to the rest of the season where Uzair Jaswal will showcase his talents.

*Post was not initially intended for the blog and the rest of the parts (if there are any) might not be put on here. Also its good to be back. Will try to be more regular over the next couple of months.

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29 thoughts on “Coke Studio. Greatest Episode EVER.

  1. I can write a separate post on Atif Aslam’s frock. Also I like how that Humayun guy is so irrelevant that you didn’t even mention him.

    • Hahaha I swear, was the first time I’ve heard his name. Thought he was that actor or director guy who shows up in all those weird Lollywood movies that I have never seen but just happen to know about.

  2. Where is the spunk, hain Hamster? You went easy on the “talent”. Also, please watch Symt’s BTS. That guy is such a douche.

    Can’t wait for the Uzair Jaswal post already.

  3. Why are you filled up with so much hate? It might not be the greatest show ever, but at least Rohail Hyatt took up the initiative of providing something different to the Pakistani TV viewer. You should reserve such vitriol for other deserving issues, such as the energy crisis and our government’s incompetency. Your humour is shrouded in more deep-rooted interests and emotions. Stop misleading and influencing people with your woefully biased satire.

    • Hahahaha Samee the beauty about wordpress is I get to see your email. Hahaha lovely bit of trolling and for the sake of argument “clearly you haven’t read the post and have just went about mouthing crap like a 17 year old hormonal guy with bounded by sexual tension. If you had read the post you would have seen i have indirectly praised Rohail in 2-3 different sentences. I even called that Arif Lohar song good. Please take off your rose tinted glasses that are probably sponsored by coke and we all know what we get when we invert the old Coca Cola symbol. Clearly this show is going to take us down.”

  4. Now listen here, rodent. I’m 18 and I am NOT bounded by sexual tension. You might have praised him, but the carping actually makes the praise redundant. I could pass a compliment to someone, but then proceed with a volley of sarcastic jibes and comments. Would that make the compliment(s) of any worth? No. Furthermore, I actually have Choroidal Melanoma, so I hope you can drown and die in guilt now for making that apathetic remark.

    • The survival rate of Choroidal Melanoma is 45 percent further more even if it is fatal patients survive for up to 10 years which means my guilt trip won’t kick in until at-least another 7 years. Also jibes and sarcastic remarks which are done after compliments are meant for the purpose that the person takes a lesson out of it and realize that the other person just wants what’s best for him. When the person realizes that he can further himself and improve himself as a person. Anyways I hope your treatment goes well Gul Khan. Maybe applying Naswar around your eyes might cure it. You never know.

      • From Hamster to a rodent…… “Evolution is a mystery, don’t know what it is actually”. Oh, and Gul Khan! You can give a fake email ID in the comment box. It won’t tell your parents. Perfectly legal. Sachi.

      • @Desi Hamsters are rodents. Don’t go flaunting about how much of an idiot you are. I actually know the Hamster in real life, and this was all trolling for fun’s sake. Don’t be a fixie. People like you are the reason why contraception should be heavily advocated. Good day.

  5. Sorry Hamad.

    I support you and what you write but I am more of a fan of “how” you write it and I think you did a very impartial and biased review of Coke Studio.

    Now I really don’t know if the reason to bash CS is because you haven’t written for a while and are trying to get back in the scene with a i-will-bash-whats-popular-with-my-toons-and-my-followers-will-love-it strategy but I don’t see any sense of appreciation in your post.

    I am no music expert but Coke Studio is something I listen to occasionally and I enjoy. I liked Bohemia’s song and also Charkha Nolakha by Atif (although I am personally not a fan of Qayaas). The type of music Coke Studio produces is no less than a marvel for an amateur music industry such as ours.

    I am sure your views are your own :) Good luck for future reviews too.

    *My honest and positive feedback

    • Thanks a lot Saad, yea I don’t think I got my point across well enough more to do with people’s reaction towards Coke Studio than Coke Studio itself. Overall its a good decent show and does produce some good songs like I pointed out but people’s reaction to it seems to be blown way out of proportion especially on social media platforms etc. Thanks for the feedback man and for the comment as always!

  6. Uzair Jaswal on Coke Studio will be the best thing ever. Showing off musical talent of the new generation. He is a musical genius.

      • Magical unicorns that poop jelly beans and what the haqq man! ‘clapping two metal sticks together’……???? 8 maheene canedaa kee reh ke aa geya aen, tennu chimmtaa vi bhul geya ae? btw, belated St. Totteringham’s Day. It just got better since yesterday. :p

  7. you started with a lot of energy with the Bohemia song. and then it looks like you decided to cut the review short. you are funny. sure. and to tell the truth I can’t listen to these songs more then once in my daily routine. occasionally maybe. Anyway something is wrong with this post. I wanted to read more of it. In other words couldnt stop reading it :p good good :)

  8. dude…. qayyas is awesome.. been following it for a year now and they have slowly made their way to the top …. so theirs no one denying the fact that Coke Studio some times does help the new guys….

  9. Yes, Mr. Hammad, you have a lotta explainin to do here!

    How dare you vilify and satirize the most sacred Coke Studio? We, the mummy daddy youth who are least bothered by what is happening around us in a greater perspective are deeply offended by your irreverent attitude towards CS which, by the way is theeeeeee brightest flame burning at the altar of the Temple of Mujic!

    You should be persecuted for your ‘Hate Crime’ exactly the way anti-semitism is treated in the greater kingdom of amerika!

    PS: This proves my point from your previous post… ;)

  10. Hahahahaha can’t believe I actually took the post titles in their literal sense and ignored them until now. :P
    People’s reactions are all copy pasted. Not many think for themselves anymore.Don’t stop Pindi Boy….Keep them coming!

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