A Struggle of Belief.

27

Jan

*Personal Post that does not intend to be funny. But if you want to laugh at me then yea you can go ahead and laugh. I wrote a rough draft of this quite a while ago when a lot of questions about my belief  popped up in my head and was considering just not caring anymore etc. In the end Alhumdulilah I came through it and believe it changed me as a person. (Too lazy to proof-read or not really smart enough to correct my grammar mistakes )

The World’s population is 6,840,507,000 by the time I’m done writing this another couple of thousand will pop out and a thousand or two will die. That’s just how the world’s been and that’s just how it’s going be. Facts and numbers like these often put into perspective for me at-least how insignificant one can be and at the same time how significant one can be. In the last 6 months or so and my period of intense questioning my existence, my beliefs and my life I’ve come to the conclusion that some things are better being left alone, somethings our weak minds can’t understand and sometimes it’s just better that way.  Growing up I wasn’t really the brightest kid in the family, I didn’t care how that tv remote worked the fact I got it to work was an achievement for me (and probably for my parents as well) so I was satisfied with the little knowledge I had. But over time questions grew and I started looking for the answers, the more answers I found inevitably the more questions that started coming up in my mind. My point being sometimes it’s better to stay in your orbit and a little selfish ( selfish in a good way not the I’m a douchebag who doesn’t care about anyone else way).  Sometimes it’s just better that way and for the bigger questions of “life”, why things are like this and how did this all start and how magnificent, beautiful things like these are possible you realize how insignificant we are how this wasn’t just a lucky “coincidence” it was something much more, something much more special and something that was truly created by The Almighty.

People need proof for everything these days,  once we get proof for everything we need proof for that proof that’s just the way we are, but all the proof I need is just a sight of all the amazing beautiful things around us and that is enough for me, their workings, their explanations and their origin it’s all good for intelligence and “development” of the mind but it isn’t for me. Some might call it ignorance and stupidity, but I’m happy with my ignorance and stupidity, its put me at peace and when I started this questioning a little more than 7-8 months ago peace was the only thing I was looking for and when you find that peaceful feeling you come to realize it’s the only thing that matters in the end. I found that peace in faith and belief and in a constant struggle to develop myself as a person some might find it in other things totally unrelated, that’s just how life is and regardless of how you find it, I hope you do. Because we all deserve it.

*One last thing if you have questions by all means question yourself and look for the answers but do it with a sense of sincerity and not to feed your inflated ego and do it with a sense of relevance and something that relates to you and I’m confident you’ll find the answers.

Later.

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