*Personal Post that does not intend to be funny. But if you want to laugh at me then yea you can go ahead and laugh. I wrote a rough draft of this quite a while ago when a lot of questions about my belief  popped up in my head and was considering just not caring anymore etc. In the end Alhumdulilah I came through it and believe it changed me as a person. (Too lazy to proof-read or not really smart enough to correct my grammar mistakes )

The World’s population is 6,840,507,000 by the time I’m done writing this another couple of thousand will pop out and a thousand or two will die. That’s just how the world’s been and that’s just how it’s going be. Facts and numbers like these often put into perspective for me at-least how insignificant one can be and at the same time how significant one can be. In the last 6 months or so and my period of intense questioning my existence, my beliefs and my life I’ve come to the conclusion that some things are better being left alone, somethings our weak minds can’t understand and sometimes it’s just better that way.  Growing up I wasn’t really the brightest kid in the family, I didn’t care how that tv remote worked the fact I got it to work was an achievement for me (and probably for my parents as well) so I was satisfied with the little knowledge I had. But over time questions grew and I started looking for the answers, the more answers I found inevitably the more questions that started coming up in my mind. My point being sometimes it’s better to stay in your orbit and a little selfish ( selfish in a good way not the I’m a douchebag who doesn’t care about anyone else way).  Sometimes it’s just better that way and for the bigger questions of “life”, why things are like this and how did this all start and how magnificent, beautiful things like these are possible you realize how insignificant we are how this wasn’t just a lucky “coincidence” it was something much more, something much more special and something that was truly created by The Almighty.

People need proof for everything these days,  once we get proof for everything we need proof for that proof that’s just the way we are, but all the proof I need is just a sight of all the amazing beautiful things around us and that is enough for me, their workings, their explanations and their origin it’s all good for intelligence and “development” of the mind but it isn’t for me. Some might call it ignorance and stupidity, but I’m happy with my ignorance and stupidity, its put me at peace and when I started this questioning a little more than 7-8 months ago peace was the only thing I was looking for and when you find that peaceful feeling you come to realize it’s the only thing that matters in the end. I found that peace in faith and belief and in a constant struggle to develop myself as a person some might find it in other things totally unrelated, that’s just how life is and regardless of how you find it, I hope you do. Because we all deserve it.

*One last thing if you have questions by all means question yourself and look for the answers but do it with a sense of sincerity and not to feed your inflated ego and do it with a sense of relevance and something that relates to you and I’m confident you’ll find the answers.

Later.

There are normal sane people and then there are people with political affiliations.  They will drive you mad and not the good kind of mad, the mad where you want to rip your head off. They will give you their views even when you don’t want them and they will give it to you in a way that you never forget them.

Anyways, here

The PTI Supporter -

Now I’m all for Imran Khan, I like the guy and that’s really enough for me. But some of his supporters are like those guys at High School reunions that you’re always looking to avoid getting in a conversation with because life has been tough on them the past 10 years and you’re worried they’ll drive you insane.

The PPP Supporter -

The PML – N Supporter -

Sorry Lahoris/Punjabis you know it’s true.

The MQM Supporter -

This is the comic that made it out of the censoring I did after I was done with it. I’m sorry, there are causes worth  dying for and this isn’t one of them so yea I might have decided to go easy on them.

That’s pretty much it.

Later.

(Facebook page www.facebook.com/Hamster41)

If you’re Pakistani actually wait let me rephrase that if you’re a human being who knows a Pakistani Woman than you’ve probably heard about Humsafar.

I could write pages on how this show is planting the seed of fasaad(trouble) in perfectly normal and happy households and how it’s basically just a guide on how to break up pretty normal marriages up and the fact that most women like it just says a lot really. I’ll end the casual sexism now and just give you the review.

Enjoy.

A couple of things to remember this is a review that is suppose to be funny if you do not find it funny there is a little x on the right side of your webpage click on it. Also I’ll be honest I’ve only seen 15 minutes of this show and made the rest of the comic from “the word of the street.” If there are any urdu sayings you don’t understand leave a comment I’ll hopefully put up translation bits at the end. 

Also Khirad is kind of hot. I approve. 

Lastly ignore all grammar and spelling mistakes and click on the image if you have trouble reading the text. 

This is not a year review or anything nor will I be making a list of stupid things that happened this year, 2011 was by the far one of the worst and at the same time one of the best years of my life but I don’t think anyone wants to hear that and this isn’t my Dear Jane Diary so I’ll just sum it up in a short paragraph,

2011 you were hardcore, at times pointless, at times you punched me in the groin and spit on me, and at times I wanted to end the year early but in the end came through that all Alhumdulilah,  but there was good stuff too, you made me meet a couple of people that ended (without them even realizing it) with them giving me some direction to my life and a cause that I lacked but I’ve found that so the few/many years I have left will hopefully be spent in some sort of proper direction that I’m content with.

In other more interesting news thanks to everyone who voted for me in The Pakistan Blog Awards I did end up winning, I know the last month or so I haven’t been posting regularly and when I have it’s just been personal stuff but still thank you for everyone who voted and the judges who picked me etc etc. Special mention to my early readers, they know this started off as a joke and it pretty much still is a joke but a pretty elaborate joke now with 85,000 views.  So thank you!

That was pretty much it I shall be back with a Humsafar comic soon, by this weekend hopefully and I’ll be more regular from now on Inshallah.

(I have no idea how to install this onto the website if anyone does leave a comment.)

Later.

I’ll admit it, I’ve missed doing this, it’s good to be back.

People are generally annoying me these days and the littlest of things is usually pissing me off.  Due to which I’m usually staying secluded from humanity and generally I’m trying to avoid any human interaction and I’m enjoying it so far to be honest. I’m learning things about myself I didn’t really know and really going towards a path I should have gone a long time ago but Alhumdulilah better late than never anyways to the point. Yesterday Veena Malik hit my facebook timeline (Yes I know I’m avoiding everything but I had to check my mail ok. Also I’m not linking to the photo because I generally don’t give a fudge and I’ve only seen the thumbnail so far (a pretty detailed thumbnail) I rather throw acid on my face then watch an enlarged version of that picture.) Anyways as soon as she hit the facebook timeline up came the 50 different screwed up annoying ignorant analysis of the ‘picture’. If you shared that picture or you shared your opinion on that photo I swear you are a Haramkhor and I hope you get chased down by dogs for no apparent reason. Haramkhor. Also I’ve hid you from my timelines now. Go share your fahaash stories some where else dammit.

The 5 most common reactions to the magazine cover -

(Also apparently the photo is fake. Really puts people who were discussing it and their existence+uselessness in the world into perspective.)

I nominated myself for this award because let’s be honest, I’m hilarious. Vote for me here  by clicking on the 5 stars just below my name on the top

http://pakistanblogawards.com/2011/11/14/best-humor-blog-hammad-ali/

Go on. You know you want too.

That’s just about it, here’s a doodle just for the sake of it -

Later.

Before I proceed with my character assassination of people I’ve never met and probably will never meet and who I’m stereotyping based on 300-600 words of posts I’ve read, I would just like to thank the people who approve the blog section of the etribune for giving me something to laugh at for the last year or two. Sometimes I forget if I’m reading the blog section of a newspaper or in fact a 15 year old hormonal teenage girl’s blog registered under the name of something like 15yearsofPMS.blogspot.com

Anyways let the character assassination begin -

The Woman who hates all Men

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/8825/you-are-so-not-prince-charming/

My basic deduction of her life on the basis of that post is -

30 year old divorced woman (sorry if I got your age wrong you look at-least 30-35, that make up really isn’t helping in all honesty) who married at a young age after she thought she found true love. That true love turned out to be some scumbag dude who probably cheated on her and which resulted in a messy divorce. She might also have a kid from that quick marriage. Now after 3-4 years of staying single she’s getting frustrated that she can’t find any decent guy. Which I find surprising because who doesn’t want a near 30 year old single mom trying to look young with three layers of foundation and casually pouting like a 15 year old girl in her avatar? Isn’t that everyone’s dream? So now she’s on the search for that fairy-tale guy which she will never find. She could find a decent guy if she lowered her standards but that’s not going to happen.

She says all men are about sex while talking to women and if they deny they’re all about sex then

 And if a man has the guts to deny this to my face may God send the pox on him and his progeny.

So basically to summarize I hate you for thinking about sex while you’re talking to me but if you’re not thinking about sex while talking to me I hope you die and “send the pox on him and his progeny” that’s a pretty graphic way to kill someone you know whatever happened to the old “Chai mein rat poison daal dou” technique. Sigh.

She goes on to say in her beautifully written blog post -

Sometimes a grown man be jealous of his own child.

Well now let’s be honest. If my kid is getting breast fed, I’m going to be pretty jealous of him too you know. I’m just sayin. I think I crossed a couple non existent lines with that joke and my future kid is probably going to run away from his dad if he ever reads this but hey I’m just setting boundaries.

Not only is her ability to write and hate men so perfect but her ability to perfectly caption photos is even better.

A husband is a clingy, attention-seeking, insecure wimp, who’s ‘upset’ with you all the time.

Ok seriously if anyone knows her ex husband. I really really want to meet him. He is my new hero.

And finally she ends with a plea

Yet, despite everything I’ve seen I believe in dreams. So even if reality is crude, there must be a realm where the fairytale man exists.

A plea that I’m going to answer -

Here’s your prince charming.

Later.

P.s This will be a continuous post on all stupid ET Bloggers because there’s a whole list of them. So find someone with a hilarious post leave it in the comments and hopefully I’ll make it into a weekly thing.

Peace.

Every year/semester starts off with a great feeling. A feeling that you’re going to get shit done and be successful. You know that Dean’s List isn’t far away and that scholarship you’re looking for is just around the corner. You have a feeling of invincibility the first couple of days that you usually don’t have near the end. You decide to sign up for 30 societies, you put your game face on and just generally are looking forward to a very successful year.

.

The first couple of days and weeks are good. You’re acing your quizzes and you’re doing well. So far so good.

Then you go home to finally start the actual process of studying and even though it’s early the first hints of procrastination start to hit you with things like “Meh it’s just the first week the stuff is easy I’ll just go through it once later tonight.”

or “I already know this stuff from last year. Piece of cake.” or my favorite “Hell I bet no one’s started studying tonight. Only the stupid kids are studying right now so they don’t get left behind”

.

The first couple of weeks go by like that but you’re still acing your quizzes so you come under the illusion that you’re actually studying and doing well in the semester. So you decide to relax a bit and give yourself more time.  Haven’t flirted with that hot girl in your class in ages? Well now’s the time. Want to take part in social events that will help you in no way in life? Now’s the time.  This is usually the best time of the semester because you’re actually having a good time in everything you do.

After these highs your midterms approach and you get ready to ace them all confidently. You don’t exactly study that much because you’re still under the illusion you actually know everything. So the midterms come and go -

So your midterm results come out and you do horrible in them but you’re still pretty confident that you’re on average with your class and bell curving will probably save you or the prof will take some sympathy with you

This the moment when your confidence really breaks. But the bubble of delusion you’ve set around yourself means in your mind you can still salvage the situation mathematically even though your heart keeps telling you in simple words that you’re screwed. This is when the human mind enters a stage of denial and tries to find a scape goat.

After the phase of denial comes a couple of weeks of depression and the feeling of doom that you’re screwed and you  just want the semester/school year to end and a general sense of miserableness.

After this miserable feeling you decide to give it one last push and pass these exams and decide to pull all nighters and as much studying as you can possibly fit into these final few weeks.

And so you go into the final stretch of the semester wasting your time like this or studying (Whatever you like to call it). Eventually you end up barely passing or end up just narrowly failing which probably means you either taking a summer semester or dropping out and this happening

And the endless cycle repeats for 4 years. Until you eventually end up graduating and realize it was never as bad (or good) as you thought it was.

Later.